Just Me

Could I ever have some type of remorse of all the shit I tend to do, everything I touch in the sweetest I end up hurting, oh Lord, you know that I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore, but I can’t lie to me, this is not the first time that happens to me, I’m not happy, I’m lying to myself, I wish it was like a page you could rip apart and start over.

Looking into his eyes makes me sad, I see no fire anymore, that thing that once made me believe that he was the one, but why? Why? Where did the flame go? It aches a lot just to know that I was a fool, was it me or was it him, I wish it was way different, that I could go back and remember all the good the times I spent next to his, his hugs, his kisses, even his lies, marked me, WHY!

I can taste drama arriving very soon, and I just don’t want to have that in my life anymore, I just want for everything to be ok, is he the true one for me? Is he the one I’ve always waited for? Aren’t you going to answer sweet destiny? Is this also going to be difficult, for me always being hurt and always being played like a freaking fool, HUH!

It hurts, it does ache, it is a true pain I can’t handle, I don’t want to breakdown now, now that I’m alone, now that the true person I trust the most is far apart from me, I need my drug, my addiction, I need it, I hate to depend on it!!! I hate it! I hate it! I FUCKING HATE IT!

Making me weak was the true joke on me huh? Problems, problems, problems, are you testing me to see how much more I can handle huh? You want to see me breakdown and cry out my pain away? Don’t worry destiny, soon it will come that day, but remember this, it won’t be as you expected, this time I might not regret and truly forget everything I promised myself, this time I can’t go back

Lifeless, breathless, that’s who you want me to become… huh… destiny, FREAKING DESTINY!!! I’m tired of taking the safe side, the side that keeps me warm, hell, FUCK THAT! This time I’ll take the other side, the route that will teach me to forget, to ignore, and to overlook.